Over the past few weeks, I have thought about giving up training for the Missoula 1/2 marathon. My health sucks, my training has suffered and I have a million excuses.
A few days ago, I went to the gym with the goal of running 3 miles. Everything started out fine, it takes me the first mile to open my lungs, clean my mind and find my stride.
When I run, I think about a million things. It has been a trained skill to clear my mind and only think about my stride or my breathing.
This time, I was thinking about Jake. We went to Jake's graduation. While he didn't receive any scholarships, he received something bigger. Each year his school gives one graduating senior a special award. That award is to acknowledge someone who has overcome great adversity to be sitting there among the graduating seniors. As they were discussing the award, I said a little prayer that Jake would get that award. That someone would see in him, his conquering spirit. When his name was announced, Rose and I jumped up, hooting and hollering like crazy women. They didn't tell his story but he was so proud to walk up to the podium and accept this award.
Like a proud mother, I cried when thinking that his walk to accept that award and then his diploma is much longer than a few short strides. And I'm sure along the way, he wanted to give up, to feel alone, to make excuses as to why he could not succeed--why he wouldn't finish.
Some days I truly get sick and tired of people who cannot pursue life because they dont understand it or because its not perfect. Sometimes, life and its perfection is as simple as waking up in the morning....smelling the air...a hot cup of coffee and an egg sandwich...
Jake knows that life is good when he has a warm bed...a home without drugs...food to eat...and people who care about him...its not perfect and in someways, it isnt always his...but he made the most of it in order to get to that podium...to receive his diploma...and to pursue living a life that on the outside looks unglamorous but from where he stands is better than what could have been...
I ran on that treadmill for another mile, crying the whole time...because life really is that simple...not giving up means actively pursuing...and its not always glamorous nor is it perfect...buts it always better than what could have been...
so i'm not giving up..because to give up on this simple act would mean to give up on my commitment...to myself and to the celebration of jake's hard work...
it might not be perfect, it might not be what i want it to be but at the end i know that i accomplished something...
and that a young man who raised himself in the foster care system showed me how...
Part of my comittment includes raising money for Youth Homes, Inc. If every friend on FB or outside of FB would pledge even ONE DOLLAR...i could reach and possibly surpass my goal...
ONE DOLLAR can change the destiny of kids like Jake...
http://www.firstgiving.com/eldenabeardontwalk
