Friday, October 30, 2009

A-Z of Gratitude

today's gratitude challenge is to fill in the alphabet with a list of what i am grateful for: A--Akkbadidia B--brothers C--coffee D--daddy E--eagles F--fabric G--gratitude H--highlights I--internet J--jb K--ketchup L--limes M--mommy N---needles O--oranges P--powwow Q--quiet R--rose S--silliness T--tea U--underwear V--violet W--writing X--xrays Y--you Z--zzzzssss

Thursday, October 29, 2009

i'm up for the challenge

sometimes, at least on this blog i feel a little one dimensional. by that i mean, i talk about excercising and relationships and those two things are far from the girl i am.... in order to see other things to write about, i'm taking the gratitude challenge. todays request is that i explain why i took the challenge and what i hope to achieve through 21 days of gratitude... well first off i hope to learn how to spell gratitude...the last 6 times i've typed it, the little red bar comes up underneath. i want to focus my writing on some other things in my life. i am eternally grateful for the people and things in my life. i find it a great challenge to learn to express that...especially since its my blog. on fb, one of my old high school friends decided to take this challenge. looking through her blog inspired me to get back to my blog. the challenge is everyday for 21 days. we'll see what happens...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

jealousy is an ugly pill

i think honesty is good...great actually... i am jealous...i am jealous of all the girls i grew up with who couldnt have cared less about getting married....who are...who didnt really want a bunch of kids...who have them...who had the big fancy wedding with prince charming but never really dreamed of it.. because thats what i wanted...and at 36 dont have...and may never have...when i was little i wanted very few things...i wanted to get married and live happily ever after with lots of kids....6 or more...i know i know...but its truly what i wanted....and honestly i didnt care about anything else...fame, fortune, education...nothing because those were and are my biggest dreams.... and i dont have them...dont get me wrong i am eternally grateful for the child i have...but i NEVER dreamed that she would be an only child...and as the years passed it felt as though i failed her more and more by giving her no siblings... all of the other dreams i be a singer.... a lawyer...a writer...never mattered to me as much as being much as having children and i am jealous.... because i feel as though i am the only one not married...the only one without more than one child...the only one who couldnt make it happen...and it belittles me...