sometimes you need to laugh...

today i went to lunch with my friend. we always have a good time. and because she's a good friend, she lets me drag her to the place where the very handsome man works (i'm trying to think who would play him in a movie...its coming to me). not that she hates it because the food is good but its also usually entertaining... he's very cool--very smart, very congenial and it doesnt hurt that he's nice looking-- but he also makes me laugh at quirky crazy things. big loud laughs... i like big loud laughs. i always like to be with my family because if somethings really funny then everyone lets out a big loud laugh...we're almost always the loudest table somewhere....and sometimes its stuff only we get. we come from a long line of bullshitters, storytellers, historykeepers...whatever you want to call them and while we all know the sad stories its deeply ingrained in us to perpetuate the good times, the funny stories, the happiness of who we've been and who we are.... at moments when i take myself too seriously or my thoughts are too heavy, i turn to them or my friends... the other day uncle lewlis and i had lunch...we laugh at all sorts of things (including the shoes you're wearing). we laughed the whole time over big foccacia sandwiches.....big loud laughs where your eyes squint up and your whole mouth opens.... sometimes in all of this, you have to make a choice to be happy or sad. and sometimes sad takes a lot more energy than happy, yet people still choose sad.... i was feeling a little bit of that today. so i went there specifically because if he was there, i knew he'd make me laugh(i'd tell you about it but you had to be there). and if he wasnt i'd still laugh with my friend....its the choice to seek out joy that i'm pursuing the most right now.... on the way to lunch, i saw something that could have thrown me back and a few months ago would have but its time to make choices... and the avoidance of sad or stress or anger is what i choose....believe me, i pray every night with appreciation that i have the opportunity to avoid right now and learn to make solid choices in a controlled environment so that when i go back to work or whatever--relationships, life, etc...i've made good choices for myself a habit.... in making that choice though i have to turn my back on things that dont bring me joy and i have to say no to people who want from me things that dont bring me joy....and thats hard because it disappoints people when old habits fall through...and its hard for me to disappoint people but the long run is what i'm shooting for here and sanity has to be a part of that.... a very long time ago my friend sent this to me and i have always kept it.... Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.--Mary Jean Iron i continue to pray for normal days and people who perpetuate in life big loud laughs....