Monday, January 19, 2009

no i'm not hungry

grieving and healing is the same f-ing rollercoaster that the actual thing i am grieving was and possibly more... on any given day of the seven i may feel exactly like this or any week may be a combination of all seven or one of each or a sprint of several...its like going to wendys and picking my combo meal items....only its the combo meal of emotions and i might need to biggie size the wellbutrin....and order a frosty of pinot grigio.... sundays--i rest and try to put it out of my head because i know whats coming. monday--i still love him and miss him tuesday--i hate him and all the shitty things he did wednesday--who? thursday--i love and hate him but dont miss him.... friday--i hope he's doing well for ten seconds and then move on with my own thoughts. saturday--i hope i can go to barnes and n0ble or the good food store without incident... somedays are more venomous than others some are more sappy and somedays the whole thing doesnt get more than ten minutes...its a stressful ten minutes but thats what it gets...somedays it gets the whole 24 hours, even in my sleep.... i would like to try a different combo meal possibly from a different place....

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